Today, I am pasting into my blog the second half of the talk I gave to the Cosmopolitan Club in NY in June 2011. Thus concludes my position statement on the role of the editor in book publishing.


IN MY OWN PRESS, CHOOSING WHO WILL MAKE THE CUT SHOULD BE EASY, BECAUSE I ALONE DECIDE WHAT WE WILL PUBLISH. I AM A COMMITTEE OF ONE, THE MOST EFFICIENT KIND. I CAN TELL FROM THE FIRST PAGE OF A MANUSCRIPT WHETHER IT CAN BE TRANSFORMED INTO A PUBLISHABLE TITLE THAT WILL APPEAL TO READERS. MOST OF WHAT I CHOOSE IS INITIALLY ROUGHER THAN SUBMISSIONS TO THE LARGE PRESSES BECAUSE IT’S A GIVEN THAT IF A SMALL PRESS RECEIVES A SUBMISSION, IT HAS BEEN THE ROUNDS OF THE BIGGIES, UNTIL IT FINALLY LANDS IN MY MAIL BOX, SOMEWHAT TATTERED AROUND THE EDGES. THAT’S WHY MOST OF OUR AUTHORS ARE FIRST-TIME WRITERS. BUT THERE’S GOOD NEWS TO THIS SITUATION. MOST OF THESE FIRST-TIMERS HAVE BEEN REJECTED AND EJECTED FROM THE BIG PUBLISHERS SO OFTEN THEY HAVE LOST ALL HOPE IN THEIR PRECIOUS BABIES. BUT NOW….HEY, IT’S NOT RANDOM HOUSE, BUT I’M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!

AND, SOMETIMES THROUGH THE ODDEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE RIGHT PHASE OF THE MOON, I RECEIVE A MANUSCRIPT THAT IS PRACTICALLY PERFECT. I BRIEFLY PONDER WHY FARRAR, STRAUS AND GIROUX TURNED IT DOWN. THEN I DO A LITTLE JIG. I’VE GOT A LIVE ONE, THAT RAREST OF BIRDS, A GOOD WRITER WHO CAN PUT IT ALL TOGETHER IN A CLEVER, UNDERSTATED WAY WITH LITTLE HELP FROM ME. I WORKED WITH ONE GENTLEMAN WHO HAD ALREADY PUBLISHED TWO WORKS, BUT HE HADN’T BEEN EDITED IN EITHER OF THEM. MAYBE HIS FORMER EDITORS WERE SCARED OF HIM. I CERTAINLY WAS. HE WAS A FORMIDABLE MAN, A HIGH RANKING MILITARY OFFICER, ERECT, TALL, SERIOUS IN DEMEANOR AND WRITING STYLE. BUT BECAUSE HE WAS INTERESTED IN LEARNING THE EDITING PROCESS, HE RARELY COMPLAINED ABOUT ANY CHANGES AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL, NO-STRESS TIME TOGETHER. HIS WORK WAS PERHAPS MY FAVORITE OF ALL--A SAD, BUT HIGHLY AUTHENTIC STORY ABOUT THE TRAGEDY OF PUSHING ONE’S CHILD TOO HARD TO GAIN A SELECTIVE COLLEGE ADMISSION. WE KNOW THIS HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN—THE PUSHY PARENTS, THE HAPLESS CHILD VICTIM. MY AUTHOR KNEW THE SITUATION FIRST HAND. AND WE BOTH KNEW BEFORE WE STARTED THAT THERE WOULD BE NO HAPPY ENDING. I DON’T KNOW; MAYBE I GOT HIS MS BECAUSE I’M KNOWN AS THE EDITOR OF UNHAPPY ENDINGS.

LIKE MOST EDITORS, I HAVE MY OWN RULES AND PRACTICES. EDITING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. ONCE YOU VENTURE BEYOND THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE, YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN. HOW I WORK WITH A MANUSCRIPT IS COMPLETELY, UTTERLY MY OWN DESIGN AND EXECUTION. I START WITH THE PRELIMS. AS SOON AS THE CONTRACT IS SIGNED, I TRY TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME DETERMINING THROUGH EMAILS AND PHONE CONVERSATIONS THE WRITER’S ABILITY TO MAKE CHANGES TO HER WORK WITHOUT FREAKING OUT. BEFORE PUTTING ONE DELETE ON THE PAGE, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME PRAISING WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT THE WORK AND WHY I LIKE IT. THIS IS MY DISARMING TACTIC, MY REASSURING TACTIC, MY PERHAPS HYPOCRITICAL TACTIC. IT MOSTLY WORKS, BUT NOT FOR LONG ENOUGH. ALL TOO SOON, MY OPTIMISM IS TRIED, I SEE THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A SLOG, WHILE THE AUTHOR, ALTERNATELY DESPAIRS AND CONTEMPLATES MY DEMISE. EXASPERATED, HE GOES, “WHY DID YOU TAKE THIS BLEEPING MANUSCRIPT IF YOU BASICALLY DON’T LIKE IT?” THIS REQUIRES MORE REASSURANCE ON MY PART, AS I CONTINUE TO COUNTER THAT THE WORK AS A WHOLE HAS MERIT. BUT PAGES 1-35 MUST GO. YOU SEE THAT DON’T YOU? YOU SEE THAT IT WILL MAKE THE NOVEL TIGHTER, STRONGER? THE AUTHOR DOES NOT SEE THAT AT ALL. THE AUTHOR IS GAZING AT MY THROAT.

THEN, AFTER THE OPENING ACTS, IT’S ONTO THE MAIN EVENT, LINE EDITING, WHERE THE TWO OF US GO OVER LINE BY LINE, PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH, CHAPTER BY CHAPTER, THE ENTIRE WORK. IT’S MY JOB TO ENSURE THAT THE PLOT STRUCTURE IS SOLID, THERE IS LITTLE OR NO REPETITION, THE CHARACTERS ARE WELL-ROUNDED, THE PHYSICAL SETTING IS AUTHENTIC AND HELPFUL TO THE STORY. I TRY TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR IN JOINING ME IN WHAT I CALL MY LITERARY CONVERSIONS. I HAVE LEARNED THAT I CAN NEVER GET HIM OR HER TO AGREE WITH THEM ALL, BUT I KEEP PROSELYTIZING ANYWAY.
NO. 1) NEVER START A STORY WITH THE WEATHER. I LEARNED THIS FROM ELMORE LEONARD, A MASTER OF THE THRILLER GENRE, WHO WRITES IN A WAY I ADMIRE, MINIMALIST SPARE. I BREAK THIS RULE OFTEN, UNFORTUNATELY. PROBABLY BECAUSE I GREW UP READING BOOKS THAT BEGAN ‘IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT”. BUT THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW. MY NO. 2RULE ) MAKE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH SO GRIPPING, SO EXHILIRATING, THAT THE READER CAN’T RESIST GOING ON. IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE BEEN THROWN DOWN IN DISGUST AFTER THE FIRST PAGE, YOU’D UNDERSTAND MY ADAMANCE ON THIS POINT. 3) WRITE TIGHT. DON’T RAMBLE. THERE’S A LOT OF COMPETITION OUT THERE. YOU MIGHT BE AWARE OF TWO HIGHLY LAUDED RECENT TITLES: LIFE BY THE ROLLING STONE KEITH RICHARDS AND THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MARK TWAIN, BOTH MORE THAN 500 PAGES. (I THINK THE MARK TWAIN IS ALMOST 800 AND THAT’S JUST VOL 1.) WHAT ARE THE PUBLISHERS THINKING OF EVEN THE LIKES OF US BOOKIES ARE NOT GOING TO BE CAPTIVATED BY SUCH LANGUAGE HYSTERIA. I FEEL THAT IF A NOVEL CAN’T FIND OIL IN 300 PAGES OR LESS, THEY SHOULD STOP BORING. 4) GO EASY ON ADJECTIVES AND ADVERBS. FOR SOME REASON, THERE IS A SUPERFLUITY OF THESE TWO PARTS OF SPEECH IN ROMANCE NOVELS. AND 5) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL, ALWAYS WRITE WITH THE READER IN MIND. SINCE WE PUBLISH MOSTLY NOVELS, I IMAGINE THAT MY READER IS GENERALLY A COLLEGE-EDUCATED WOMAN, OCCASIONALLY A MAN, WHO ENJOYS A GOOD MAIN-STREAM READ, ENTERTAINING BUT POSSESSING, HOPEFULLY, SOME NEW IDEAS TO BE THOUGHT ABOUT.

YOU CAN SEE THAT WITH ALL THESE VITAL CONVERSIONS, THE EDITORIAL/WRITER RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FOR SISSIES. BUT I STILL BELIEVE, IN SPITE OF CERTAIN EVIDENCE OF HYSTERICS AND FOUL LANGUAGE THAT HAS COME MY WAY, THAT THE MAJORITY OF EDITED WRITERS, NO MATTER HOW RELUCTANT, EVENTUALLY EXPERIENCE AT LEAST A SMALL FRISSON OF SATISFACTION. THERE WILL BE NO COMPLIMENTS AT THE END, BUT I BELIEVE HE RECOGNIZES THAT HIS WRITING HAS BECOME SMOOTHER, CLEARER, MORE FELICITOUS, MORE STYLISH. AND THAT ANTAGONISM OF THREE WEEKS EARLIER WHEN I SUGGESTED THAT IT ISN’T A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS TO A CHARACTER WHO IS KILLED OFF IN THE FIRST CHAPTER AND, FURTHERMORE, TELLING THE STORY WITH TOO MANY POV’S IS HARD TO DO SUCCESSFULLY UNLESS YOU ARE WILLIAM FAULKNER, HAS SOMEWHAT WANED. WORN DOWN BY MY PERSISTENCE. NOW THE AUTHOR WANTS NOTHING BUT THE END OF THE PROCESS, FOLLOWED BY A GOOD, STRONG DRINK.

I CAN HEAR YOU THINKING, “SO, WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF AND THE WRITER LIKE THIS? WHY NOT REJECT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND SAVE BOTH OF YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE?”

THE ANSWER IS TWO-FOLD. FIRST, THERE MUST BE A BIT OF THE MASOCHIST IN MANY EDITORS. WE FIND A BEAUTIFUL PUZZLE THAT HAS POSSIBILITIES LURKING AMID THE INCOHERENT AND THE INCHOATE, IF ONLY WE CAN CONVINCE THE AUTHOR THAT THE CHANGES WILLBE MODEST AND REQUIRE, AT THE MOST, A PAGE OR TWO OF REWRITE. AND MORE OFTEN THAN I LIKE TO ADMIT, I HAVE PLUNGED IN WITHOUT ADEQUATELY TESTING THE WATER FOR SHARKS. INSTEAD, I, WHO LOVES WRITING NOT WISELY BUT TOO WELL, FIND MYSELF ACCEPTING A MS BECAUSE I LIKE ONLY ONE OF THE MANY ELEMENTS OF THE WORK, PERHAPS JUST THE CONCEPT OR ITS EXOTIC SETTING OR THE HORSE THE HERO RODE IN ON.

SO I TAKE MANY MORE CHANCES THAN I SHOULD. I WORKED ONCE WITH A GUY WHO HAD SERVED TIME IN JAIL FOR A YOUTHFUL DRUG OFFENSE. HE WROTE A MARVEL OF A NATURALISTIC NOVEL BASED ON HIS EXPERIENCES. THE STORY CENTERED AROUND A SOCIOPATHIC JAIL BIRD AND THE SORRY AFTERMATH OF HIS FREEDOM. IT WAS A RAW AND TOUGH STORY, AND I WANTED THE WORK EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WOULDN’T BE MOST READERS’ MEAT AND POTATOES, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BEST DEPICTION OF PRISON LIFE THAT I WOULD EVER GET TO PUBLISH. TO ME, THAT WORK WILL ALWAYS BE A TOP NOTCH ORIGINAL. BUT WHAT HAPPENED? TODAY THAT GUY IS A PRIZE-WINNING YOUNG ADULT WRITER. I OFTEN ASK MYSELF: WHICH WAS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE--MY HEAVY HANDED EDITING THAT I THOUGHT WAS ONLY APPROPRIATE FOR SUCH A SUBJECT AND THAT HE COULD DEAL WITH OR, JUST AS I FEARED, THE SUBSEQUENT INDIFFERENCE OF THE READING PUBLIC? WHICHEVER OR BOTH, I’LL NEVER KNOW, BUT I HOPE (BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER READ HIS YA WORKS), HE ISN’T TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE HOW TO GET OUT OF JAIL FREE.

AND EVEN WHEN FINALLY, AFTER PAGES AND PAGES OF DELETIONS AND REWRITING, THE HEROINE HAVING BEEN CHANGED FROM A SEXY BABE TO A TRANSVESTITE AND THE SETTING MOVED FROM DAYTON, OHIO, TO MALIBU, THAT TITLE GOES OUT INTO THE WORLD, BUT THE AGONY IS NOT OVER. REALLY, IT’S JUST STARTING. WILL IT GET ROTTEN REVIEWS? WILL IT GET A REVIEW AT ALL? WILL ANYONE OTHER THAN THE WRITER’S MOTHER READ IT? I REMEMBER A YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE MIDWEST WHO SENT ME WHAT IS KNOWN AS ‘CHICK LIT’, A ROMANCE NOVEL, ONE OF MY FEW NOVELS WITH A HAPPY ENDING. BUT A WORK OF SUCH CHARM, SUCH HUMOR. IT WAS ABOUT A HOMEY BEAUTY PARLOR THAT SERVED AS A SHRINK’S COUCH FOR BOTH CUSTOMERS AND EMPLOYEES. WE SLAVED OVER THAT WORK, STRUGGLING TO SAVE THE GOOD PARTS AND DELETE THE MAJOR IRRELEVANCIES. AND WHEN WE FINISHED AND I HOPED THE AUTHOR WOULD BE PLEASED WITH THE RESULT, SHE THREW A FIT WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO GET UPSET IF THE NYTIMES DIDN’T REVIEW HER BOOK. SHE CRIED OUT, “CAN’T YOU MAKE THEM?”

TO MY UTTER SURPRISE, WHILE I WAS CORRECT AND THE NYTIMES DID NOT REVIEW THE WORK, WORD OF MOUTH AMONG READERS AND BOOK SELLERS MADE PATTY JANE’S HOUSE OF CURL THE MOST FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL TITLE BRIDGE WORKS EVER PUBLISHED. (THE AUTHOR’S SEXY BOOK JACKET PHOTO DIDN’T HURT, EITHER.)

BUT BECAUSE SHE NEEDED SUCH HEAVY EDITING, WE ELECTED NOT TO TAKE HER ON FOR A SECOND WORK, WHICH WAS NOT AS COMPELLING AS THE FIRST, FEELING THAT THE EDITING WOULD BE TOO MUCH OF A LOAD. THAT WAS A FIRST CLASS MISTAKE. SHE WENT ELSEWHERE AND HAS BECOME A STAPLE IN THE CHICK LIT FIELD. ON THE OTHER HAND, SINCE SHE WOULD ALWAYS RESENT ME FOR NEVER GETTING HER REVIEWED BY THE NEW YORK TIMES, MAYBE I WAS SMART ENOUGH TO QUIT WHILE I WAS AHEAD.

SOMETIMES, IT ONLY TAKES THAT ONE SUCCESSFUL TITLE FOR WRITERS TO ANNOUNCE THAT WITH SPELLCHECK AND THEIR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE, FROM HERE ON THEY WILL EDIT THEMSELVES. ONE OF OUR AUTHORS, PRONOUNCED A NATURAL” BY NO LESS THAN MICHIKO KAKUTANI, DID JUST THAT. HE WAS AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR, AN OLDER WRITER TO BE STARTING OUT. BUT HIS FIRST NOVEL WAS AN ABSOLUTELY PITCH-PERFECT MELD OF TRAGIC-COMEDY. HIS STORY WAS ABOUT A GROUP OF ELDERLY DENIZENS OF A RETIREMENT HOME PUTTING ON THE PLAY, HAMLET. I WAS SO IMPRESSED AT HOW WELL THE AUTHOR PORTRAYED THESE OLD FOLKS, KNEW THE CHARACTERS, THEIR FOIBLES, THEIR WEAKNESSES, THEIR HUMOR. ALL HE NEEDED TO CHANGE WAS THE COLD AND UNCOMPROMISING PERSONA OF HIS ELDERLY PROTAGONIST. WE GAVE THIS MAN, A HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR, SOME EMOTIONS AND SOME WEAKNESSES. THE PRINCE OF WEST END AVENUE TOOK OFF IN SALES AND AWARDS. AFTER A SECOND TITLE FOR US, THE AUTHOR LEFT TO GO ON TO A FANCY AGENT AND A BIGGER PUBLISHING HOUSE, WHEREUPON HIS EGO, BOLSTERED BY FAME AND FORTUNE, CAUSED HIM TO PRONOUNCE IN PUBLIC THAT HE PERSONALLY FELT EDITORS WERE UNNECESSARY. I WON’T BE SO IMMODEST AS TO SUGGEST THAT THE MORAL IS OBVIOUS, BUT THIS PARTICULAR WRITER SUBSEQUENTLY DROPPED OUT OF SIGHT. TO US LITERARY MEDDLERS, A WRITER, NO MATTER HOW SKILLED, WILL ALWAYS NEED SOMEONE OBJECTIVE TO HELP POLISH HIS MATERIAL, SOMEONE TO BE A SURROGATE FOR THE READER. WHAT GOES ON TO ACCOMPLISH THIS IS AS UNCLEAR TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD AS A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE, BUT MAYBE I HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME HINTS.

I AM IMMENSELY PROUD OF THE ALMOST TWO HUNDRED WRITERS WHO HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED BY BRIDGE WORKS IN 20 YEARS AND I FEEL VINDICATED, IN MANY CASES, BY THOSE WHO HAVE WON PRIZES, SECURED MOVIE PRODUCTION CONTRACTS OR GONE ON TO LARGER AND MORE DEEP-POCKETED PUBLISHING HOUSES. IT’S GOOD FOR THEM AND GOOD P.R. FOR US, THE FARM TEAM. TOM PERROTTA, FOR INSTANCE, A FIRST-TIME AUTHOR WHO, AFTER GETTING LOTS OF PUBLICITY WITH OUR “BAD HAIR DAY”, A SENSITIVE STUDY OF A BOY’S ADOLESCENCE, LEFT ME IN A HUFF (IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EDITING) FOR A BIG AGENT AND A LARGE PUBLISHING HOUSE. SINCE THEN HE HAS WRITTEN A SERIES OF FORGETTABLE NOVELS THAT, FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, MAKE GOOD MOVIES. (ELECTION, LITTLE CHILDREN.) I’VE ALWAYS FANTASIZED THAT IF HE HAD STAYED WITH ME, HIS SUBSEQUENT BOOKS COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WRITTEN AND HOLLYWOOD WOULD HAVE COME CALLING, TOO. BUT, LET’S FACE IT. AS I SAID, EDITING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. WHAT YOU THINK WILL BE FANTASTIC IS IGNORED COMPLETELY, WHILE YOU PERSONALLY DISLIKE YOURSELF IS EATEN UP BY THE READING PUBLIC. YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.

AND THE TRUTH IS, NEITHER OF US, AUTHOR AND EDITOR, WILL EVER BE FULLY SATISFIED AT THE END OF THE PROCESS. NOR CAN IT BE SAID THAT THE PROCESS HAS BROUGHT US CLOSER TO A PEACE TREATY. THE WRITER WILL TELL HIS FRIENDS THAT REALLY VERY FEW CHANGES WERE MADE, BARBARA HARDLY TOUCHED A THING. I AM SURE THAT WHAT I TOUCHED WAS THE MAJOR REASON FOR LIFTING THIS GUY OUT OF ANONYMITY. THERE WAS A MAJOR SCANDAL IN THE WRITING WORLD A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN THE WIDOW OF RAYMOND CARVER, THE CELEBRATED SHORT STORY WRITER, DECIDED THAT SHE (AND BY EXTENSION, HER LATE HUSBAND) WAS DISSATISFIED WITH THE RESULT OF HIS COLLABORATION WITH GORDON LISH, A CELEBRATED EDITOR. SHE WISHED TO REPUBLISH CARVER’S WORKS IN THEIR ORIGINAL, UNEDITED STATE. NOW, SOME SAY THAT IT WAS GORDON LISH’S CAREFUL CUTTING OF CARVER’S OFTEN ROUTINE WRITING THAT MADE THE WRITER FAMOUS AS THE EPITOME OF MINIMALISM. NATURALLY, THE PUBLISHERS REFUSED TO CHANGE A WORD OF THE WORKS THEY HAD SPONSORED. SO, EVEN WHEN AUTHORS ARE UNHAPPY, SOMETIMES EDITORS JUST HAVE TO SAY, “TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING”.


BUT WHILE I EXPECT THE WRITER TO STRAIGHTEN UP HER BACK AND HER DOUBTS, AND COME BACK THE NEXT DAY FOR MORE OF THE SAME, I STILL HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT AND AWE FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING I HAVE ONLY DONE ONCE, GOTTEN A BOOK PUBLISHED. AND DESPITE OCCASIONAL BACK PATS TO MYSELF, I KNOW FULL WELL THAT IT IS THE AUTHOR’S IMAGINATION AND YEARS OF WORK THAT HAVE BROUGHT THIS TITLE TO THE LIGHT OF DAY. I HAVE ONLY BEEN THE MIDWIFE IN A PROCESS THAT SEEMS LIKE A MIRACLE, A WORK OF ART THAT, WITH LUCK, MAY LAST FOREVER.

SO, I THINK I’VE TOLD YOU ENOUGH ABOUT THAT SO-CALLED VITAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EDITOR AND WRITER. AND WHILE IT ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD TO PULL ASIDE THE CURTAIN TO REVEAL THE PROPS LYING AROUND BACKSTAGE, IN THE END BOOKS AND WRITERS STILL ENTHRALL US ALL. WE INTUIT THAT WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS. AND MOSTLY WE ARE. I’VE TRIED NOT TO BE JUST ANOTHER PROVIDER OF LONG FORM CONTENT (WHAT A PHRASE!). I’VE TRIED NOT TO PUBLICLY PRAISE LITERARY WORKS, WHILE PUBLISHING MOSTLY MASS MARKET STUFF, BECAUSE IT SELLS LIKE BAGELS AND BRINGS IN THE MONEY. AND WHILE I REALIZE I’M RUNNING A BUSINESS THAT CAN’T SURVIVE UNLESS SALES ARE GOOD, I HAVE DONE MY BEST NOT TO COMPROMISE WITH QUALITY. I’VE NEVER PUBLISHED FORMULAIC BEST SELLERS, WRITTEN BY COMMITTE. IVE ALWAYS STRIVED TO NURTURE THE BEST WRITERS I CAN FIND, PUTTING OUT THE BEST WORK THAT CIRCUMSTANCES PERMIT. MAYBE NO PULITZERS OR FAREWELL KISSES, BUT I’LL KEEP HONORING BRIDGE WORKS’S AUTHORS WHILE LOOKING FORWARD TO FUTURE SPARRING PARTNERS.

AND JUST A POSTSCRIPT. IF YOU, GOOD PEOPLE WHO HAVE SAT SO PATIENTLY WHILE I RANTED ON, CAN DO ONE THING FOR OUR CIVILIZATION, KEEP PROMOTING READING AND WRITING. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN OR ARE CLOSE TO FRIENDS’ CHILDREN, HEAP THE BOOKS ON THEM. DON’T WORRY TOO MUCH IF YOU HATE HARRY POTTER OR THINK ZOMBIES AND VAMPIRES ARE HORRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOUNGSTERS. IF THE KIDS WILL ONLY READ A BOOK ON A KINDLE OR AN IPAD. BUY THEM A KINDLE. BUY THEM AN IPAD. WHATEVER IT TAKES. LONG AGO, WHILE GOING FOR A GRADUATE DEGREE, I NOTICED A LOT OF MY CLASSMATES WERE NODDING OUT IN CLASS, WHEN THEY WEREN’T YELLING “OFF THE PIGS” OUTSIDE SCHOOL. FEELING DEPRESSED ABOUT THE STATE OF THE WORLD AND ITS YOUNG PEOPLE ONE DAY, I NOTICED A SLOGAN PAINTED ON A WALL THAT READ, “HOOKED ON BOOKS”. I’VE DONE MY BEST TO KEEP THAT APHORISM ALIVE. JOIN ME AND ENSURE THAT THE WORLD WON’T FORGET IT, EITHER.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ANY QUESTIONS?
REMEMBER TO HAND OUT TWO QUESTIONS FOR STARTERS.

IN MY OWN PRESS, CHOOSING WHO WILL MAKE THE CUT SHOULD BE EASY, BECAUSE I ALONE DECIDE WHAT WE WILL PUBLISH. I AM A COMMITTEE OF ONE, THE MOST EFFICIENT KIND. I CAN TELL FROM THE FIRST PAGE OF A MANUSCRIPT WHETHER IT CAN BE TRANSFORMED INTO A PUBLISHABLE TITLE THAT WILL APPEAL TO READERS. MOST OF WHAT I CHOOSE IS INITIALLY ROUGHER THAN SUBMISSIONS TO THE LARGE PRESSES BECAUSE IT’S A GIVEN THAT IF A SMALL PRESS RECEIVES A SUBMISSION, IT HAS BEEN THE ROUNDS OF THE BIGGIES, UNTIL IT FINALLY LANDS IN MY MAIL BOX, SOMEWHAT TATTERED AROUND THE EDGES. THAT’S WHY MOST OF OUR AUTHORS ARE FIRST-TIME WRITERS. BUT THERE’S GOOD NEWS TO THIS SITUATION. MOST OF THESE FIRST-TIMERS HAVE BEEN REJECTED AND EJECTED FROM THE BIG PUBLISHERS SO OFTEN THEY HAVE LOST ALL HOPE IN THEIR PRECIOUS BABIES. BUT NOW….HEY, IT’S NOT RANDOM HOUSE, BUT I’M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!

AND, SOMETIMES THROUGH THE ODDEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE RIGHT PHASE OF THE MOON, I RECEIVE A MANUSCRIPT THAT IS PRACTICALLY PERFECT. I BRIEFLY PONDER WHY FARRAR, STRAUS AND GIROUX TURNED IT DOWN. THEN I DO A LITTLE JIG. I’VE GOT A LIVE ONE, THAT RAREST OF BIRDS, A GOOD WRITER WHO CAN PUT IT ALL TOGETHER IN A CLEVER, UNDERSTATED WAY WITH LITTLE HELP FROM ME. I WORKED WITH ONE GENTLEMAN WHO HAD ALREADY PUBLISHED TWO WORKS, BUT HE HADN’T BEEN EDITED IN EITHER OF THEM. MAYBE HIS FORMER EDITORS WERE SCARED OF HIM. I CERTAINLY WAS. HE WAS A FORMIDABLE MAN, A HIGH RANKING MILITARY OFFICER, ERECT, TALL, SERIOUS IN DEMEANOR AND WRITING STYLE. BUT BECAUSE HE WAS INTERESTED IN LEARNING THE EDITING PROCESS, HE RARELY COMPLAINED ABOUT ANY CHANGES AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL, NO-STRESS TIME TOGETHER. HIS WORK WAS PERHAPS MY FAVORITE OF ALL--A SAD, BUT HIGHLY AUTHENTIC STORY ABOUT THE TRAGEDY OF PUSHING ONE’S CHILD TOO HARD TO GAIN A SELECTIVE COLLEGE ADMISSION. WE KNOW THIS HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN—THE PUSHY PARENTS, THE HAPLESS CHILD VICTIM. MY AUTHOR KNEW THE SITUATION FIRST HAND. AND WE BOTH KNEW BEFORE WE STARTED THAT THERE WOULD BE NO HAPPY ENDING. I DON’T KNOW; MAYBE I GOT HIS MS BECAUSE I’M KNOWN AS THE EDITOR OF UNHAPPY ENDINGS.

LIKE MOST EDITORS, I HAVE MY OWN RULES AND PRACTICES. EDITING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. ONCE YOU VENTURE BEYOND THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE, YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN. HOW I WORK WITH A MANUSCRIPT IS COMPLETELY, UTTERLY MY OWN DESIGN AND EXECUTION. I START WITH THE PRELIMS. AS SOON AS THE CONTRACT IS SIGNED, I TRY TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME DETERMINING THROUGH EMAILS AND PHONE CONVERSATIONS THE WRITER’S ABILITY TO MAKE CHANGES TO HER WORK WITHOUT FREAKING OUT. BEFORE PUTTING ONE DELETE ON THE PAGE, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME PRAISING WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT THE WORK AND WHY I LIKE IT. THIS IS MY DISARMING TACTIC, MY REASSURING TACTIC, MY PERHAPS HYPOCRITICAL TACTIC. IT MOSTLY WORKS, BUT NOT FOR LONG ENOUGH. ALL TOO SOON, MY OPTIMISM IS TRIED, I SEE THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A SLOG, WHILE THE AUTHOR, ALTERNATELY DESPAIRS AND CONTEMPLATES MY DEMISE. EXASPERATED, HE GOES, “WHY DID YOU TAKE THIS BLEEPING MANUSCRIPT IF YOU BASICALLY DON’T LIKE IT?” THIS REQUIRES MORE REASSURANCE ON MY PART, AS I CONTINUE TO COUNTER THAT THE WORK AS A WHOLE HAS MERIT. BUT PAGES 1-35 MUST GO. YOU SEE THAT DON’T YOU? YOU SEE THAT IT WILL MAKE THE NOVEL TIGHTER, STRONGER? THE AUTHOR DOES NOT SEE THAT AT ALL. THE AUTHOR IS GAZING AT MY THROAT.

THEN, AFTER THE OPENING ACTS, IT’S ONTO THE MAIN EVENT, LINE EDITING, WHERE THE TWO OF US GO OVER LINE BY LINE, PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH, CHAPTER BY CHAPTER, THE ENTIRE WORK. IT’S MY JOB TO ENSURE THAT THE PLOT STRUCTURE IS SOLID, THERE IS LITTLE OR NO REPETITION, THE CHARACTERS ARE WELL-ROUNDED, THE PHYSICAL SETTING IS AUTHENTIC AND HELPFUL TO THE STORY. I TRY TO ENGAGE THE AUTHOR IN JOINING ME IN WHAT I CALL MY LITERARY CONVERSIONS. I HAVE LEARNED THAT I CAN NEVER GET HIM OR HER TO AGREE WITH THEM ALL, BUT I KEEP PROSELYTIZING ANYWAY.
NO. 1) NEVER START A STORY WITH THE WEATHER. I LEARNED THIS FROM ELMORE LEONARD, A MASTER OF THE THRILLER GENRE, WHO WRITES IN A WAY I ADMIRE, MINIMALIST SPARE. I BREAK THIS RULE OFTEN, UNFORTUNATELY. PROBABLY BECAUSE I GREW UP READING BOOKS THAT BEGAN ‘IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT”. BUT THAT WAS THEN AND THIS IS NOW. MY NO. 2RULE ) MAKE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH SO GRIPPING, SO EXHILIRATING, THAT THE READER CAN’T RESIST GOING ON. IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE BEEN THROWN DOWN IN DISGUST AFTER THE FIRST PAGE, YOU’D UNDERSTAND MY ADAMANCE ON THIS POINT. 3) WRITE TIGHT. DON’T RAMBLE. THERE’S A LOT OF COMPETITION OUT THERE. YOU MIGHT BE AWARE OF TWO HIGHLY LAUDED RECENT TITLES: LIFE BY THE ROLLING STONE KEITH RICHARDS AND THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MARK TWAIN, BOTH MORE THAN 500 PAGES. (I THINK THE MARK TWAIN IS ALMOST 800 AND THAT’S JUST VOL 1.) WHAT ARE THE PUBLISHERS THINKING OF EVEN THE LIKES OF US BOOKIES ARE NOT GOING TO BE CAPTIVATED BY SUCH LANGUAGE HYSTERIA. I FEEL THAT IF A NOVEL CAN’T FIND OIL IN 300 PAGES OR LESS, THEY SHOULD STOP BORING. 4) GO EASY ON ADJECTIVES AND ADVERBS. FOR SOME REASON, THERE IS A SUPERFLUITY OF THESE TWO PARTS OF SPEECH IN ROMANCE NOVELS. AND 5) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL, ALWAYS WRITE WITH THE READER IN MIND. SINCE WE PUBLISH MOSTLY NOVELS, I IMAGINE THAT MY READER IS GENERALLY A COLLEGE-EDUCATED WOMAN, OCCASIONALLY A MAN, WHO ENJOYS A GOOD MAIN-STREAM READ, ENTERTAINING BUT POSSESSING, HOPEFULLY, SOME NEW IDEAS TO BE THOUGHT ABOUT.

YOU CAN SEE THAT WITH ALL THESE VITAL CONVERSIONS, THE EDITORIAL/WRITER RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FOR SISSIES. BUT I STILL BELIEVE, IN SPITE OF CERTAIN EVIDENCE OF HYSTERICS AND FOUL LANGUAGE THAT HAS COME MY WAY, THAT THE MAJORITY OF EDITED WRITERS, NO MATTER HOW RELUCTANT, EVENTUALLY EXPERIENCE AT LEAST A SMALL FRISSON OF SATISFACTION. THERE WILL BE NO COMPLIMENTS AT THE END, BUT I BELIEVE HE RECOGNIZES THAT HIS WRITING HAS BECOME SMOOTHER, CLEARER, MORE FELICITOUS, MORE STYLISH. AND THAT ANTAGONISM OF THREE WEEKS EARLIER WHEN I SUGGESTED THAT IT ISN’T A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS TO A CHARACTER WHO IS KILLED OFF IN THE FIRST CHAPTER AND, FURTHERMORE, TELLING THE STORY WITH TOO MANY POV’S IS HARD TO DO SUCCESSFULLY UNLESS YOU ARE WILLIAM FAULKNER, HAS SOMEWHAT WANED. WORN DOWN BY MY PERSISTENCE. NOW THE AUTHOR WANTS NOTHING BUT THE END OF THE PROCESS, FOLLOWED BY A GOOD, STRONG DRINK.

I CAN HEAR YOU THINKING, “SO, WHY DO YOU TORTURE YOURSELF AND THE WRITER LIKE THIS? WHY NOT REJECT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND SAVE BOTH OF YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE?”

THE ANSWER IS TWO-FOLD. FIRST, THERE MUST BE A BIT OF THE MASOCHIST IN MANY EDITORS. WE FIND A BEAUTIFUL PUZZLE THAT HAS POSSIBILITIES LURKING AMID THE INCOHERENT AND THE INCHOATE, IF ONLY WE CAN CONVINCE THE AUTHOR THAT THE CHANGES WILLBE MODEST AND REQUIRE, AT THE MOST, A PAGE OR TWO OF REWRITE. AND MORE OFTEN THAN I LIKE TO ADMIT, I HAVE PLUNGED IN WITHOUT ADEQUATELY TESTING THE WATER FOR SHARKS. INSTEAD, I, WHO LOVES WRITING NOT WISELY BUT TOO WELL, FIND MYSELF ACCEPTING A MS BECAUSE I LIKE ONLY ONE OF THE MANY ELEMENTS OF THE WORK, PERHAPS JUST THE CONCEPT OR ITS EXOTIC SETTING OR THE HORSE THE HERO RODE IN ON.

SO I TAKE MANY MORE CHANCES THAN I SHOULD. I WORKED ONCE WITH A GUY WHO HAD SERVED TIME IN JAIL FOR A YOUTHFUL DRUG OFFENSE. HE WROTE A MARVEL OF A NATURALISTIC NOVEL BASED ON HIS EXPERIENCES. THE STORY CENTERED AROUND A SOCIOPATHIC JAIL BIRD AND THE SORRY AFTERMATH OF HIS FREEDOM. IT WAS A RAW AND TOUGH STORY, AND I WANTED THE WORK EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WOULDN’T BE MOST READERS’ MEAT AND POTATOES, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BEST DEPICTION OF PRISON LIFE THAT I WOULD EVER GET TO PUBLISH. TO ME, THAT WORK WILL ALWAYS BE A TOP NOTCH ORIGINAL. BUT WHAT HAPPENED? TODAY THAT GUY IS A PRIZE-WINNING YOUNG ADULT WRITER. I OFTEN ASK MYSELF: WHICH WAS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE--MY HEAVY HANDED EDITING THAT I THOUGHT WAS ONLY APPROPRIATE FOR SUCH A SUBJECT AND THAT HE COULD DEAL WITH OR, JUST AS I FEARED, THE SUBSEQUENT INDIFFERENCE OF THE READING PUBLIC? WHICHEVER OR BOTH, I’LL NEVER KNOW, BUT I HOPE (BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER READ HIS YA WORKS), HE ISN’T TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE HOW TO GET OUT OF JAIL FREE.

AND EVEN WHEN FINALLY, AFTER PAGES AND PAGES OF DELETIONS AND REWRITING, THE HEROINE HAVING BEEN CHANGED FROM A SEXY BABE TO A TRANSVESTITE AND THE SETTING MOVED FROM DAYTON, OHIO, TO MALIBU, THAT TITLE GOES OUT INTO THE WORLD, BUT THE AGONY IS NOT OVER. REALLY, IT’S JUST STARTING. WILL IT GET ROTTEN REVIEWS? WILL IT GET A REVIEW AT ALL? WILL ANYONE OTHER THAN THE WRITER’S MOTHER READ IT? I REMEMBER A YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE MIDWEST WHO SENT ME WHAT IS KNOWN AS ‘CHICK LIT’, A ROMANCE NOVEL, ONE OF MY FEW NOVELS WITH A HAPPY ENDING. BUT A WORK OF SUCH CHARM, SUCH HUMOR. IT WAS ABOUT A HOMEY BEAUTY PARLOR THAT SERVED AS A SHRINK’S COUCH FOR BOTH CUSTOMERS AND EMPLOYEES. WE SLAVED OVER THAT WORK, STRUGGLING TO SAVE THE GOOD PARTS AND DELETE THE MAJOR IRRELEVANCIES. AND WHEN WE FINISHED AND I HOPED THE AUTHOR WOULD BE PLEASED WITH THE RESULT, SHE THREW A FIT WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO GET UPSET IF THE NYTIMES DIDN’T REVIEW HER BOOK. SHE CRIED OUT, “CAN’T YOU MAKE THEM?”

TO MY UTTER SURPRISE, WHILE I WAS CORRECT AND THE NYTIMES DID NOT REVIEW THE WORK, WORD OF MOUTH AMONG READERS AND BOOK SELLERS MADE PATTY JANE’S HOUSE OF CURL THE MOST FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL TITLE BRIDGE WORKS EVER PUBLISHED. (THE AUTHOR’S SEXY BOOK JACKET PHOTO DIDN’T HURT, EITHER.)

BUT BECAUSE SHE NEEDED SUCH HEAVY EDITING, WE ELECTED NOT TO TAKE HER ON FOR A SECOND WORK, WHICH WAS NOT AS COMPELLING AS THE FIRST, FEELING THAT THE EDITING WOULD BE TOO MUCH OF A LOAD. THAT WAS A FIRST CLASS MISTAKE. SHE WENT ELSEWHERE AND HAS BECOME A STAPLE IN THE CHICK LIT FIELD. ON THE OTHER HAND, SINCE SHE WOULD ALWAYS RESENT ME FOR NEVER GETTING HER REVIEWED BY THE NEW YORK TIMES, MAYBE I WAS SMART ENOUGH TO QUIT WHILE I WAS AHEAD.

SOMETIMES, IT ONLY TAKES THAT ONE SUCCESSFUL TITLE FOR WRITERS TO ANNOUNCE THAT WITH SPELLCHECK AND THEIR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE, FROM HERE ON THEY WILL EDIT THEMSELVES. ONE OF OUR AUTHORS, PRONOUNCED A NATURAL” BY NO LESS THAN MICHIKO KAKUTANI, DID JUST THAT. HE WAS AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR, AN OLDER WRITER TO BE STARTING OUT. BUT HIS FIRST NOVEL WAS AN ABSOLUTELY PITCH-PERFECT MELD OF TRAGIC-COMEDY. HIS STORY WAS ABOUT A GROUP OF ELDERLY DENIZENS OF A RETIREMENT HOME PUTTING ON THE PLAY, HAMLET. I WAS SO IMPRESSED AT HOW WELL THE AUTHOR PORTRAYED THESE OLD FOLKS, KNEW THE CHARACTERS, THEIR FOIBLES, THEIR WEAKNESSES, THEIR HUMOR. ALL HE NEEDED TO CHANGE WAS THE COLD AND UNCOMPROMISING PERSONA OF HIS ELDERLY PROTAGONIST. WE GAVE THIS MAN, A HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR, SOME EMOTIONS AND SOME WEAKNESSES. THE PRINCE OF WEST END AVENUE TOOK OFF IN SALES AND AWARDS. AFTER A SECOND TITLE FOR US, THE AUTHOR LEFT TO GO ON TO A FANCY AGENT AND A BIGGER PUBLISHING HOUSE, WHEREUPON HIS EGO, BOLSTERED BY FAME AND FORTUNE, CAUSED HIM TO PRONOUNCE IN PUBLIC THAT HE PERSONALLY FELT EDITORS WERE UNNECESSARY. I WON’T BE SO IMMODEST AS TO SUGGEST THAT THE MORAL IS OBVIOUS, BUT THIS PARTICULAR WRITER SUBSEQUENTLY DROPPED OUT OF SIGHT. TO US LITERARY MEDDLERS, A WRITER, NO MATTER HOW SKILLED, WILL ALWAYS NEED SOMEONE OBJECTIVE TO HELP POLISH HIS MATERIAL, SOMEONE TO BE A SURROGATE FOR THE READER. WHAT GOES ON TO ACCOMPLISH THIS IS AS UNCLEAR TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD AS A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE, BUT MAYBE I HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME HINTS.

I AM IMMENSELY PROUD OF THE ALMOST TWO HUNDRED WRITERS WHO HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED BY BRIDGE WORKS IN 20 YEARS AND I FEEL VINDICATED, IN MANY CASES, BY THOSE WHO HAVE WON PRIZES, SECURED MOVIE PRODUCTION CONTRACTS OR GONE ON TO LARGER AND MORE DEEP-POCKETED PUBLISHING HOUSES. IT’S GOOD FOR THEM AND GOOD P.R. FOR US, THE FARM TEAM. TOM PERROTTA, FOR INSTANCE, A FIRST-TIME AUTHOR WHO, AFTER GETTING LOTS OF PUBLICITY WITH OUR “BAD HAIR DAY”, A SENSITIVE STUDY OF A BOY’S ADOLESCENCE, LEFT ME IN A HUFF (IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EDITING) FOR A BIG AGENT AND A LARGE PUBLISHING HOUSE. SINCE THEN HE HAS WRITTEN A SERIES OF FORGETTABLE NOVELS THAT, FORTUNATELY FOR HIM, MAKE GOOD MOVIES. (ELECTION, LITTLE CHILDREN.) I’VE ALWAYS FANTASIZED THAT IF HE HAD STAYED WITH ME, HIS SUBSEQUENT BOOKS COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WRITTEN AND HOLLYWOOD WOULD HAVE COME CALLING, TOO. BUT, LET’S FACE IT. AS I SAID, EDITING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE. WHAT YOU THINK WILL BE FANTASTIC IS IGNORED COMPLETELY, WHILE YOU PERSONALLY DISLIKE YOURSELF IS EATEN UP BY THE READING PUBLIC. YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME.

AND THE TRUTH IS, NEITHER OF US, AUTHOR AND EDITOR, WILL EVER BE FULLY SATISFIED AT THE END OF THE PROCESS. NOR CAN IT BE SAID THAT THE PROCESS HAS BROUGHT US CLOSER TO A PEACE TREATY. THE WRITER WILL TELL HIS FRIENDS THAT REALLY VERY FEW CHANGES WERE MADE, BARBARA HARDLY TOUCHED A THING. I AM SURE THAT WHAT I TOUCHED WAS THE MAJOR REASON FOR LIFTING THIS GUY OUT OF ANONYMITY. THERE WAS A MAJOR SCANDAL IN THE WRITING WORLD A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN THE WIDOW OF RAYMOND CARVER, THE CELEBRATED SHORT STORY WRITER, DECIDED THAT SHE (AND BY EXTENSION, HER LATE HUSBAND) WAS DISSATISFIED WITH THE RESULT OF HIS COLLABORATION WITH GORDON LISH, A CELEBRATED EDITOR. SHE WISHED TO REPUBLISH CARVER’S WORKS IN THEIR ORIGINAL, UNEDITED STATE. NOW, SOME SAY THAT IT WAS GORDON LISH’S CAREFUL CUTTING OF CARVER’S OFTEN ROUTINE WRITING THAT MADE THE WRITER FAMOUS AS THE EPITOME OF MINIMALISM. NATURALLY, THE PUBLISHERS REFUSED TO CHANGE A WORD OF THE WORKS THEY HAD SPONSORED. SO, EVEN WHEN AUTHORS ARE UNHAPPY, SOMETIMES EDITORS JUST HAVE TO SAY, “TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING”.


BUT WHILE I EXPECT THE WRITER TO STRAIGHTEN UP HER BACK AND HER DOUBTS, AND COME BACK THE NEXT DAY FOR MORE OF THE SAME, I STILL HAVE NOTHING BUT RESPECT AND AWE FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING I HAVE ONLY DONE ONCE, GOTTEN A BOOK PUBLISHED. AND DESPITE OCCASIONAL BACK PATS TO MYSELF, I KNOW FULL WELL THAT IT IS THE AUTHOR’S IMAGINATION AND YEARS OF WORK THAT HAVE BROUGHT THIS TITLE TO THE LIGHT OF DAY. I HAVE ONLY BEEN THE MIDWIFE IN A PROCESS THAT SEEMS LIKE A MIRACLE, A WORK OF ART THAT, WITH LUCK, MAY LAST FOREVER.

SO, I THINK I’VE TOLD YOU ENOUGH ABOUT THAT SO-CALLED VITAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EDITOR AND WRITER. AND WHILE IT ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD TO PULL ASIDE THE CURTAIN TO REVEAL THE PROPS LYING AROUND BACKSTAGE, IN THE END BOOKS AND WRITERS STILL ENTHRALL US ALL. WE INTUIT THAT WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS. AND MOSTLY WE ARE. I’VE TRIED NOT TO BE JUST ANOTHER PROVIDER OF LONG FORM CONTENT (WHAT A PHRASE!). I’VE TRIED NOT TO PUBLICLY PRAISE LITERARY WORKS, WHILE PUBLISHING MOSTLY MASS MARKET STUFF, BECAUSE IT SELLS LIKE BAGELS AND BRINGS IN THE MONEY. AND WHILE I REALIZE I’M RUNNING A BUSINESS THAT CAN’T SURVIVE UNLESS SALES ARE GOOD, I HAVE DONE MY BEST NOT TO COMPROMISE WITH QUALITY. I’VE NEVER PUBLISHED FORMULAIC BEST SELLERS, WRITTEN BY COMMITTE. IVE ALWAYS STRIVED TO NURTURE THE BEST WRITERS I CAN FIND, PUTTING OUT THE BEST WORK THAT CIRCUMSTANCES PERMIT. MAYBE NO PULITZERS OR FAREWELL KISSES, BUT I’LL KEEP HONORING BRIDGE WORKS’S AUTHORS WHILE LOOKING FORWARD TO FUTURE SPARRING PARTNERS.

AND JUST A POSTSCRIPT. IF YOU, GOOD PEOPLE WHO HAVE SAT SO PATIENTLY WHILE I RANTED ON, CAN DO ONE THING FOR OUR CIVILIZATION, KEEP PROMOTING READING AND WRITING. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN OR ARE CLOSE TO FRIENDS’ CHILDREN, HEAP THE BOOKS ON THEM. DON’T WORRY TOO MUCH IF YOU HATE HARRY POTTER OR THINK ZOMBIES AND VAMPIRES ARE HORRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOUNGSTERS. IF THE KIDS WILL ONLY READ A BOOK ON A KINDLE OR AN IPAD. BUY THEM A KINDLE. BUY THEM AN IPAD. WHATEVER IT TAKES. LONG AGO, WHILE GOING FOR A GRADUATE DEGREE, I NOTICED A LOT OF MY CLASSMATES WERE NODDING OUT IN CLASS, WHEN THEY WEREN’T YELLING “OFF THE PIGS” OUTSIDE SCHOOL. FEELING DEPRESSED ABOUT THE STATE OF THE WORLD AND ITS YOUNG PEOPLE ONE DAY, I NOTICED A SLOGAN PAINTED ON A WALL THAT READ, “HOOKED ON BOOKS”. I’VE DONE MY BEST TO KEEP THAT APHORISM ALIVE. JOIN ME AND ENSURE THAT THE WORLD WON’T FORGET IT, EITHER.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ANY QUESTIONS?
REMEMBER TO HAND OUT TWO QUESTIONS FOR STARTERS.